Breaking My Sugar Addiction
Disclaimer:
This post discusses sugar addiction and how one individual is personally working on rewiring her brain to change her relationship with sugar. If you are dealing with addiction to habit-forming drugs or substances, please seek professional/medical attention.
Why can too much sugar be bad for PCOS?
There’s a good chance you’ve heard that overconsumption of sugar can be problematic for people with PCOS, but it is about more than just insulin resistance. We know that if insulin resistance remains untreated, there is a higher likelihood of developing Type II Diabetes. Too much refined or added sugar can worsen insulin resistance, and if you have Diabetes, it will worsen that condition for you. However, overdoing it with refined sugar can also disrupt sleep, cause more frequent infections, exacerbate inflammation, deplete energy levels, raise cortisol, impede digestion, and even increase testosterone. Basically, everything we are already worried about with PCOS is at risk when we reach for refined or added sugar.
Why I Say Sugar “Addiction”
As part of my journey to healing my relationship with food, I knew that breaking my addiction to sugar was at the forefront. And yes, I’m calling it an addiction. Sucrose activates the reward center, or the mesocorticolimbic system, in the brain. Neuroimaging scans have revealed that this activation is synonymous with the way the brain “lights up” with habit-forming drugs and substances like alcohol or heroine. Disclaimer: sucrose activates this system to a lesser extent than do habit-forming drugs and substances.
But First, Scientific Encouragement We Can Break Our Addictions
Before we jump in, let’s talk about how cool the human brain is. Neuroplasticity is defined as the ability of neural networks in the brain to change through growth, experience and reorganization. Neuroplasticity is an absolutely beautiful thing because it means that our habits are not fixed. We CAN change. We can implement new behaviors, and rewire pathways of our brain so that these healthier behaviors become our habits. So in whatever area of life you want to implement change, do not subscribe to antiquated beliefs that “this is how my mom was, so I’m destined to behave this way” or “I get my sweet tooth from my dad, and it’s not going anywhere”. It’s simply not true. You can unlearn any habit or behavior that is no longer serving you. That little organ up in your head has evolved over millions of years to be able to adapt to different circumstances. Otherwise, we wouldn’t be here anymore. So as we start talking about this, trust in your brain.
The First Step:
Figuring Out Your Baseline Sugar Relationship Origins
We need to figure out our baseline first. Since we can influence our default behaviors through practice and conditioning, the more we repeat them, the more they become second nature to us. And unfortunately, that means the bad ones stick, too. Overconsuming sugar, or any habit-forming substance, can result in negative neuroplasticity, or habitual negative default behaviors. We need food, we need calories, and we also need sugar (in the right form, and amount) just to survive. However, I will be the first one to tell you it’s not just about survival. Food is also pleasure, and food is also comfort. It’s complex, emotional, and cultural. We develop highly complicated relationships with food throughout our formative years, from associating food with connection to family, friends, culture, joy or associating food with an escape, reward, a numbing mechanism for the stressful times in life, comfort and so much more.
Wow. Food relationships can be loaded. With all of these deeply rooted emotional associations, paired with the fact that sugar lights up the brain’s reward system, it can spell disaster. And it did for me.
Origins of Emotional Associations:
Sugar As Scant, Sugar As Reward
Growing up, my sugar intake was restricted severely. Sugar was a “reward” I could only have in small quantities or after I succeeded at something. I was also allowed to have it during what I call, family-sanctioned binges. I grew up in an Italian-American family, where holidays and family gatherings were synonymous with gluttony. Subtlety was not our strength, nor was ordering or making food in the right quantities. Every Christmas, I quadrupled my ricotta cookie recipe. Rainbow cookies stacked up pound by pound. Panettone. Nutella cake. Cannolis. Chocolates. A one-way ticket to diabetes, yes, but for us, it was also a one-way ticket to connection.
Origins of Emotional Associations:
Sugar = Connection
My cousins, sisters and I would sneak cookies long before dessert was out all night long. It was how we bonded, stuffing ourselves full of sugar while we chatted, did massage trains and watched movies. We would all inevitably end up horizontal on the couch or floor, and I still think of those moments regularly and how I deeply miss them. It made me feel like a part of my family and community. It provided common ground for me to relate to my sisters and cousins who are quite a bit older than I am. Binging sugar leveled the playing field - I wasn’t the annoying baby cousin anymore. I fit in. It made me feel like my grandmother and grandfather didn’t leave all of Rome behind when they moved to the U.S., and we still maintained the Italian tradition of family connection through food. Sure, my immediate family and I would be at each other’s throats the next morning, but for the time being, the sugar kept the peace.
Origins of Emotional Associations:
Sugar Promotes Peace
Large quantities of food and binging at family gatherings are not the only things emblematic of Italian-American households. In my experience, so too, are short tempers, melodramatic arguments and emotional immaturity. My household was rather turbulent and unpredictable, something I’ve had to address in years of therapy, and am still working on. The only moments where there was peace was when we were eating. When we ate together, people might not have detected the dysfunction. Mealtime, particularly indulgent meals, offered the lowest likelihood of explosive arguments. Mealtime meant my highly activated nervous system could finally relax. My brain, and my nervous system, was subject to years of conditioning that indulgent meals and refined sugars pumped the brakes on hypervigilance and stress. I was safe. There could be peace. There could be connection.
The Danger of Subconscious Emotional Associations With Addictive Substances
Research has shown that associative memories, paired with major cravings, facilitate and promote relapse behavior. Overconsumption of addictive substances, like sugar, can induce maladaptive neuroplasticity, as I mentioned. The reward center, or the mesocorticolimbic system, in the brain, releases dopamine. Dopamine is motivational- it tells our brain of what substance or behavior we want more. When the reward center becomes overstimulated, we need more and more of that same substance to achieve the same level of pleasure. And, when we have historic associations of sugar with a certain emotional state, we actually train our brains, and that reward system, to crave sugar when we are in that emotional state, or want to be in that emotional state. When my parents fought, I self-medicated with Oreos and ice cream to try and trick myself into thinking there was peace. For every final exam I studied for when I felt sheer chaos and stress, I wanted sugar because it was the only thing that granted me peace in my unpredictable household growing up.
My Low Point:
The Impact of My Sugar Addiction on My Health
When my parents separated when I was 16, I packed on 30 pounds by the time I reached 17. Sugar binges were how I coped. My buried yearning for a connected family, relief from emotional stress and an uncontrollable need for peace shattered my heart, and I wanted to numb the pain. About to leave for college, I was disgusted by my reflection in the mirror. I simply had to lose weight. I knew that eating so much sugar, and relying on it for emotional comfort, was problematic. However, I was largely driven to stop because of the weight I had gained, and because I was so uncomfortable in my body. Instead of questioning what it actually was that I wanted when I felt that deep, uncontrollable hankering for sugar, I tried to change my body from a place of hate and embarrassment. So I treated my body with exactly that. Sugar was completely off limits to the point where I became afraid of fruit and natural sugars. I went through cycles of starving myself, only to repeat the binge and purge cycle habitually. And I basically lived this way until my mid 20s.
How Our Brain Feeds the Vicious Cycle of Addiction
The reward pathway of the brain consists of the prefrontal cortex, amygdala, ventral tegmental area and the nucleus accumbens. The ventral tegmental area induces awareness of a craving, contributing to relapse behavior and intense emotions. The nucleus accumbens controls dopamine, regulating the ventral tegmental area to effectively communicate whether to subside awareness of craving for the addictive substance, in this case, sugar. The PFC and amygdala share a role in motivational processes, associative/emotional learning, compulsive behavior and deficits in executive function. So what does that mean? When we have historically overconsumed something like sugar and have emotional associations with it, our motivation systems become damaged. And when our motivation systems are not working properly, we make decisions we may know are bad for our bodies.
That’s what I kept doing to myself. Even to the point where my reliance on sugar was making me feel terribly sick and uncomfortable, I kept repeating the same behaviors. Just to reiterate and in case you still are not convinced: “Addiction is characterized by a difficulty to control habitual behavior even in the face of negative consequence” (Lindgren et al., 2018).
After Identifying Emotional Associations:
Check In With Yourself When Cravings Arise
Working on this has not been easy. It’s a journey, and I think I will always be on this journey. When I crave sugar, the best thing I can do is check in and ask myself a series of questions:
What is my brain or body trying to tell me right now? Am I hungry? Am I thirsty? Is my blood sugar low and a piece of fruit would pick me up? Am I craving sugar because my body actually needs food or drink?
If I determine what I need is not actually food or drink, I try to dig deeper. Is there an underlying need I have that I’m trying to use sugar as a quick fix for?
Am I not feeling well, and I’m craving something comforting?
Am I stressed out, and I’m trying to calm myself down?
Am I stressed out, and looking for an excuse to take a break?
Am I overwhelmed and seeking peace?
Am I lonely, and is what I really want a hug or emotional connection?
Do I feel ostracized, and think that sugar will help me fit in?
Give Yourself What You Actually Need In A Healthy Way To Form New Neural Pathways
After I figure out what the root of the craving is, I identify other ways that I can meet my needs to build new neural pathways and positive associations with those healthier choices. Here are some examples:
I’m hungry, my blood sugar is low, or I’m thirsty: If I’m feeling weak or lightheaded and truly need sugar, I honor that, but I try not to go for refined sugar. Instead I choose something like berries, a green apple or a banana. Sometimes my body is just dehydrated and I need to drink some water with electrolytes
I have a deeper underlying need: I dig deeper to figure out what it is, and a healthy way to meet it
I want something comforting: I lay down under my heated blanket for a few minutes
I’m stressed and my nervous system is activated: I go for a quick walk, exercise if I can, or do a quick full body shake out
If I need a break: I take a break!!!
If I’m craving peace: I do a yoga video for emotional release
If I’m lonely: I FaceTime my niece, another family member, or call a friend to catch up
I feel ostracized: Change my environment or call a loved one
The Bottom Line:
You Can Do This!
The bottom line is that if you have an unhealthy relationship with sugar like I do, you are fully capable of changing that relationship to benefit your PCOS symptoms. Numerous studies have been done to substantiate the neuroplasticity of the brain. Take comfort in the fact that you can use that to your advantage to drive the change in your life you want to see!